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A dream in which I am present in my own body

by Ashlee Haze

 

I have spent my life
living as a ghost
in the shell of a woman
in reverie, I exist in a space where I am present in my own body
and here it does not belong to anyone but me
this body, an erasure poem
void of the praise I would not give it
is now a place I dwell
here, I name all my bodyparts
and there are no bad words
here, I am the rule and not the exception
here, my fat is not sacrilege
is only decoration for a home I am proud to live in
here, in this wonderland,
my flesh is not carved or covered in a quest for approval
I give myself permission to be
and it is all that matters
in this paradise, I commune with myself
and no one names it sin
I realize how willingly I have named myself damned
and how hesitant I have been to name myself god
this body be a hallelujah
it is a church,
holy and unscathed,
a trembling indigo morning
that I worship
when everyone is looking
oh, universe
if I cannot manifest this existence
let this sleep be an endless one
let me lead a life in any realm
that allows me to show up as myself

 

Ashlee Haze is a poet and spoken word artist from Atlanta by way of Chicago. Earning the nickname “Big 30″ because of her consistency in getting a perfect score, she is one of the most accomplished poets in the sport of poetry slam. She has been a part of the Atlanta Poetry circuit for over a decade and has been writing over 15 years. Ashlee Haze is a full time artist and just wrapped up a 100+ city college tour.  She is a spokesperson for Lane Bryant, appearing the the brand’s Spring 2017 campaign.